Posts Tagged ‘women’s rights’
Welcome to PMA International’s ” Unstoppable Mothers”
Protective Mothers Alliance International (PMA) has launched “Unstoppable Mothers”, a powerful photo and essay project to give voice to Protective Mothers and their Children.
The photos depict the loss and grief a Protective Mother experiences when she is forcibly separated from her child(ren) due to family court injustice, or the events she missed in the life of her child.
The essays are common real life family court situations with Protective Mothers telling the most outrageous action a judge took in her case. OR, a Mother sharing what she has missed most about not being in her child’s life.
How Can You Participate?
Protective mothers may send quotes to the comment section on PMA INTL’s Guardian of Truth Blog. A specific page on this blog has been set up just for this project. ( link below)
PMA INTL will put the “Unstoppable Mother’s” quote on a sign and take a picture for the project.
Some signs with quotes will be combined with missed milestone pictures taken by PMA INTL’s talented protective mothers, highlighting their creativity and photography skills.
All signs, quotes, and pictures will be posted on the Unstoppable Mothers’ special page within the “Guardian Of Truth” Blog
Some feedback about “Unstoppable Mothers’” photo and essay project;
“Beautiful photography by talented PMA protective mothers, coupled with heartbreaking real life stories of loss in the mothers’ own words. Another stunning PMA Intl. project to raise awareness. TY Janice, Lundy and all the PMA moms!!”
“Participating in this project was very empowering and gave me hope”
“Thank you for capturing a protective mother’s powerful story through her own words and beautiful pictures .”
“Thank you for giving us moms a voice along with gorgeous visuals from talented protective mothers.”
Now that we all understand how to participate and what the ground rules are for this project, Protective Mothers’ Alliance International invites you into our project. We ask you to brace yourselves, step slowly , carefully and steal a tiny glimpse , taste a tiny sample bite of what life is like as a protective mother. An unstoppable protective mother, enduring one of the darkest atrocities known in the history of our civilization.
PMA International’s Mothers/Advocates are working heart-to-heart and hand-to-hand with PMA INTL’s Network Hear Us Now!! ( H.U.N) to educate and communicate the deep love a mother has for her child. Our intention is to help the moms express their deep devoted love for their children, and help strengthen the mother/child bond, moving their relationship forward in a loving and positive way. This page is for protective mothers to express their love for their children.
Look at our beautiful Face Book event wall filled with love! ( link below)
Our collective mother hearts shout out to the heavens and aim straight towards our children’s hearts with beautiful words filled with tenderness, devotion and deep, powerful love.
Create an original letter or poem for your child. If you are not part of this important PMA International event, please join us.
Our blog reaches all across the internet and has over 10 thousand hits and is growing every day. Your words of love to your child will pass the test of time and remain on the internet, for all to see.
How powerful and sweet is a mothers love! A bond that no person or court can deny. Keep posting moms, keep touching hearts with your powerful words of love. You are all beautiful heroes and PMA INTL loves and supports you and your precious children, always.
Here is an example of a beautiful, and touching letter and poem from one of our protective moms to her precious child;
© J. L. D
No parent who loves their child, who wants to be with their child, who isn’t a threat to their child, who never abused their child, nor intentionally harmed them, should have their child ripped from them senselessly, unjustly, and to be then alienated from their child, in some cases, so severely, as though they have died, and to be left with having to beg for any knowledge or glimpse of their child, hoping and waiting on any scraps that *might* be tossed their way.
I am one mother who is exhausted from trying to cope with the knowledge that there are people so evil who carry out such cruel, evil injustice, and from having to implore the takers, the hostage holders, and their cohorts and other connected persons, of my own child, for something, anything, because something, anything, no matter how minuscule, is better than nothing at all. Facing more often than not, the abject rejection, of denial, so often given, with utter silence.
I Knew You First - © J. L. D
Before you were born, I knew you
As you grew inside me, my womb held you
You heard my voice, you heard my heart beat
I felt the flutter as you moved, and kicked with your tiny feet
Before you were born, I knew you
I had dreams, hopes, and plans for you
I sang to you, prayed for you, longed for us to meet
You my son, I your mother, forever yours to keep
I knew you first, since before you were born,
And I have loved you, and will, always, forever more.
Please Visit our page;
Please also join our “Love Letters To Our Children ongoing Facebook event ( link below)
Leave a legacy of love for your child.
In this part of our Wounded Healer series we will begin to explore the various alternative healing modalities. Some of these healing modalities have not been scientifically proven, yet some people have found them helpful. As with all alternative therapies, please use discretion and common sense. Seek the advice of a qualified professional if any questions arise. Always only do what makes you feel comfortable. We will start our exploration of alternative healing modalities with Color therapy or Chromatherapy.
What is Color Therapy or Chromatherapy?
Chromotherapy, sometimes called color therapy, colorology or cromatherapy, is a complementary medicine method.
Color is just light at different wavelengths or frequencies that we see or feel, and use through our senses.
Each color has special properties, from wavelength or frequencies, that can be used in color therapy–those properties affect our senses, and our own physical/mental energy.
Color therapy is using colors to heal. Trained chromotherapists claim to be able to use light in the form of color to balance “energy” wherever a person’s body be lacking, whether it be on physical, emotional, spiritual, or mental levels. The practice is pseudoscientific, since it does not employ the scientific method.
Color therapy is distinct from other types of light therapy, such as ultraviolet blood irradiation, which are scientifically-accepted medical treatments for a number of conditions, and from photobiology, the scientific study of the effects of light on living organisms.
American Civil War General Augustus Pleasonton (1801-1894) conducted his own experiments and in 1876 published his book The Influence Of The Blue Ray Of The Sunlight And Of The Blue Color Of The Sky about how the color blue can improve the growth of crops and livestock and can help heal diseases in humans. This led to modern chromotherapy, influencing scientist Dr. Seth Pancoast and Edwin Dwight Babbitt to conduct experiments and to publish, respectively, Blue and Red Light; or, Light and Its Rays as Medicine (1877) and The Principles of Light and Color.
In 1933, Hindu scientist Dinshah P. Ghadiali[importance?] published “The Spectro Chromemetry Encyclopaedia”, a work on color therapy. Ghadiali claimed to have discovered the scientific principles which explain why and how the different colored rays have various therapeutic effects on organisms. He believed that colors represent chemical potencies in higher octaves of vibration, and for each organism and system of the body there is a particular color that stimulates and another that inhibits the work of that organ or system. Ghadiali also thought that by knowing the action of the different colors upon the different organs and systems of the body, one can apply the correct color that will tend to balance the action of any organ or system that has become abnormal in its functioning or condition. ( Wikipedia).
Throughout the 19th century “color healers” claimed colored glass filters could treat many diseases including constipation and meningitis.
A New Age conceptualisation of the chakras of Indian body culture and their positions in the human body
Practitioners of ayurvedic medicine believe the body has seven “chakras,” which some claim are ‘spiritual centers’, and which are held to be located along the spine. New Age thought associates each of the chakras with a single color of the visible light spectrum, along with a function and organ or bodily system. According to this view, the chakras can become imbalanced and result in physical diseases, but application of the appropriate color can allegedly correct such imbalances. The purported colors and their associations are described as:
Color Chakra Chakra location Alleged function Associated system
Red First Base of the spine Grounding and Survival Gonads, kidneys, spine, sense of smell
Orange</strong Second Lower abdomen, genitals Emotions, sexuality Urinary tract, circulation, reproduction
Yellow Third Solar plexus Power, ego Stomach, liver, gall bladder, pancreas
Green Fourth Heart Love, sense of responsibility Heart, lungs, thymus
Blue Fifth Throat Physical and spiritual communication Throat, ears, mouth, hands
Indigo Sixth Just above the center of the brow, middle of forehead Forgiveness, compassion, understanding Eye, pineal glands
Violet Seventh Crown of the head Connection with universal energies, transmission of ideas and information Pituitary gland, the central nervous system and the cerebral cortex ( Wikipedia).
Color is one of the languages of the soul, just look at inspired or meditative paintings.
They influence our mood and emotions.
They have their impact on our sense of well-being or un-easiness.
Using and avoiding certain colors is a way of self-expression; it sheds light on our personality.
Colors affect our way of perception (light colors make a space look big, a high ceiling looks less high when painted in a dark color, etc.)
Colors have a symbolic meaning which is immediately recognized by our subconsciousness. It must be said that not all colors mean the same to all persons and all cultures.
They influence the flow and amount of energy in our bodies.
Colors tell something about biological attraction.
Keeping this in mind, let us look at how color can help the tired or diseased body and mind. Color healing, known as Chromotherapy, can be implemented in a number of ways. The ancients built great halls of color healing, where individuals entered and were bathed in light that was filtered through various colored glass panels or windows.
Red is thought to be linked to the base chakra and the spine, hips and legs. It’s thought to stimulate and boost physical energy, strengthen willpower, increase circulation, clear congestion and is linked with sexuality.
Orange is thought to encourage joy, socializing and optimism, which is why it’s considered useful for depression or sadness. Orange is associated with the sacral chakra and it’s believed to benefit the kidneys, urinary tract and the reproductive organs.YellowYellow is associated with the solar plexus chakra. An imbalance in the solar plexus chakra is thought to promote fear, apprehension, confusion, lack of determination, introversion or power issues, which this color is believed to balance.
Yellow is associated with the intellect and mental processes and is uplifting. The solar plexus chakra is also thought to influence the digestive system.
Green is a colour that’s thought to encourage emotional stability, purity and calmness. It’s related to the heart chakra, so it’s believed to help with emotional issues, such as love, forgiveness, trust and compassion. An imbalance in the heart chakra is associated with fear of relationships, mistrust, jealousy, isolation and insecurity.BlueBlue is related to the throat chakra and is said to be connected to the throat and lungs. It’s thought to enhance verbal expression and communication, artistic expression and willpower. It’s a calming color and is believed to help insomnia, anxiety, throat problems, high blood pressure, migraine and skin irritation.
Indigo is associated with the third eye chakra, located between the eyes, and is related to the eyes and the lower part of the head. It’s said to encourage greater intuition and strengthen the lymph system, immune system and help purify and cleanse the body.Purple or VioletPurple, or violet, is associated with the crown chakra, which is at the top of the head. It’s thought to encourage spirituality, intuition, wisdom, mastery and mental strength and focus.
To learn more about colors and how color can play a role in healing see the link below and play some fun color games.
CPS Whistle-blower Speaks Out. I was a special investigator for Child Protective Services, and this is my story.
" There is no system ever devised by mankind that is guaranteed to rip husband,wife, father, mother and child apart so bitterly than our present family court system" Judge Brian Lyndsey
Protective Mothers Alliance International(PMA INTL.) is a international protective mother-driven organization that includes a global network of like-minded organizations working as a team for positive change.Protective Mothers Alliance International (PMA) is co founded by Lundy Bancroft and Janice Levinson, with Janice Levinson as Executive Director. The PMA INTL family consists of protective mother-driven advocates working together as a tight team for change.PMA INTL is working toward bringing about dramatic reform in family court for protective mothers and their children. PMA INTL. advocates for change through education, legislation reform, community and media outreach and other strategies that may be effective and beneficial. PMA INTL. supports the efforts of protective mothers in keeping themselves and their children safe from the abuse of a former partner, and in empowering these mothers to become advocates for themselves and others. PMA INTL. has several networks/groups including but not limited to: Man Up for Moms (M.U.M), Hear us NOW!! ( H.U.N) Healing and Prayer, and Stop Dv by Proxy.PMA INTL’s very successful blog talk radio shows has over 6 thousand listeners thus far. PMA INTL’s blog entitled: “The Guardian of Truth” continues to be an effective vehicle for eduction about family court abuse. Protective Mothers Alliance INTL. has launched a gold ribbon campaign in an effort to reunite protective mothers and their children who have been separated by the family court.We invite all advocates and their allies around the globe to wear gold ribbons to symbolize the effort that protective mothers and their allies are making to reunite children with their moms.
Please join us in supporting this campaign. ” The beautiful memories that we have of our beloved children are golden and can NEVER be erased from our hearts and minds”
Young children should not be separated unnecessarily from a primary caregiver, and family courts should pay attention to attachment theory and child development.
"Young children should not be separated unnecessarily from a primary caregiver, and family courts should pay attention to attachment theory and child development."
See on www.peterhaiman.com
Published on December 2, 2010 by Randi Kreger in Stop Walking on Eggshells
This is taken from the book Splitting: Protecting Yourself When Divorcing a High Conflict Personality that will be out in July, 2011 from New Harbinger. There is a booklet version available now at http://www.BPDCentral.com. The B.I.F.F. method was developed by attorney Bill Eddy in 2007. Please see Bill’s site at http://www.HighConflictInstitute.com for the copyrighted original article.
Keep your responses brief, informative, friendly, and firm
When dealing with a high conflict personality–especially during divorce–nasty emails from both directions are common. For best results, never send one. And use the B.I.F.F. technique described below to respond to them.
Remember BIFF When Responding to Hostile E-mails
Hostile e-mail exchanges have become huge in divorce. Blamers love sending them and use them to attack you, your family and friends, and professionals. It’s extremely tempting to respond the same way. Hostile e-mail has also become huge in family court, as a document used to show someone’s bad behavior.
While you are encouraged to save copies of hostile e-mail sent to you, it is very important that you not send hostile e-mails to anyone. They will be used against you. Instead, assertively use a BIFF response, as described next, and encourage people in your support system to do the same. It will save you a lot of wasted time and energy to be brief, informative, friendly, and firm.
Do You Need to Respond?
Much of hostile mail does not need a response. Letters from exes, angry neighbors, irritating coworkers, or attorneys do not usually have legal significance. The letter itself has no power, unless you give it power.
Often, it is emotional venting aimed at relieving the writer’s anxiety. If you respond with similar emotions and hostility, you will simply escalate things without satisfaction, and just get a new piece of hostile mail back. In most cases, you are better off not responding. Some letters and e-mails develop power when copies are filed in a court or complaint process-or simply get sent to other people. In these cases, it may be important to respond to inaccurate statements with accurate statements of fact. If so, use a BIFF response.
Keep your response brief. This will reduce the chances of a prolonged and angry back-and-forth. The more you write, the more material the other person has to criticize. Keeping it brief signals that you don’t wish to engage in a dialogue. Just make your response and end your e-mail.
Don’t take your partner’s statements personally and don’t respond with a personal attack. Avoid focusing on comments about the other person’s character, such as saying he is rude, insensitive, or stupid. It just escalates the conflict and keeps it going. Make sure to avoid the three “A’s”: admonishments, advice and apologies. You don’t have to defend yourself to someone you disagree with. If your friends still like you, you don’t have to prove anything to people who don’t.
The main reason to respond to hostile mail is to correct inaccurate statements others might see. “Just the facts” is a good thing to keep in mind. Focus on the accurate statements you want to make, not on the inaccurate statements the other person made: “Just to clear things up, I was out of town on February 12, so I would not have been the person who was making loud noises that day.”
Avoid negative comments, sarcasm, and threats. Avoid personal remarks about the other person’s intelligence, ethics, or moral behavior. If the other person has a high-conflict personality, you will have no success at reducing the conflict by making personal attacks. While most people can ignore personal attacks or might think harder about what you are saying, high-conflict people feel they have no choice but to respond in anger-and keep the conflict going. Personal attacks rarely lead to insight or positive change.
While you may be tempted to write in anger, you are more likely to achieve your goals by writing in a friendly manner. Consciously thinking about a friendly response will increase your chances of getting a friendly or neutral response in return. If your goal is to end the conflict, then being friendly has the greatest likelihood of success. Don’t give the other person a reason to get defensive and keep responding.
This does not mean that you have to be overly friendly. Just make your message sound a little relaxed and nonantagonistic. If appropriate, say you recognize your partner’s concerns. Brief comments that show your empathy and respect will generally calm the other person down, even if only for a short time.
In a nonthreatening way, clearly tell the other person your information or position on an issue; for example, “That’s all I’m going to say on this issue.” Be careful not to make comments that invite more discussion, unless you are negotiating an issue or want to keep a dialogue going back and forth. Avoid comments that leave an opening, such as, “I hope you will agree with me that…” This invites the other person to tell you, “I don’t agree.”
Sound confident and don’t ask for more information, if you want to end the back-and-forth. A confident-sounding person is less likely to be challenged with further e-mails. If you get more e-mails, you can ignore them, if you have already sufficiently addressed the inaccurate information. If you need to respond again, keep it even briefer, and do not emotionally engage. In fact, it often helps to just repeat the key information using the same words.
Example of BIFF Response
Joe’s hostile e-mail: “Jane, I can’t believe you are so stupid as to think I’m going to let you take the children to your boss’s birthday party during my parenting time. Have you no memory of the last six conflicts we’ve had about my parenting time? Or are you having an affair with him? I always knew you would do anything to get ahead! In fact, I remember coming to your office party and witnessing you making a total fool of yourself, including flirting with everyone from the CEO down to the mail-room clerk! Are you high on something? Haven’t you gotten your finances together enough to support yourself yet, without flinging yourself at every Tom, Dick, and Harry?”…
Jane’s response: “Thank you for responding to my request to take the children to my office party. Just to clarify, the party will be from 3:00 to 5:00 on Friday at the office, and there will be approximately thirty people there, including several other parents and their school-age children. There will be no alcohol because it is a family-oriented firm, and there will be family-oriented activities. I think it will be a good experience for the kids to see me at my workplace. Since you do not agree, then, of course, I will respect that and withdraw my request, because I recognize that it is your parenting time.”
Comment: Jane kept it brief and did not engage in defending herself. Since this was just between the two of them, she didn’t need to respond. If he sent this e-mail to friends, coworkers, or family members (which high-conflict people often do), she would need to respond to the larger group with more information, such as the following.
Jane’s group response: “Dear friends and family, as you know, Joe and I had a difficult divorce. He has sent you a private e-mail showing correspondence between us about a parenting schedule matter. I hope you will see this as a private matter and understand that you do not need to respond or get involved in any way. Almost everything he has said is in anger and not at all accurate. If you have any questions for me personally, please feel free to contact me and I will clarify anything I can. I appreciate your friendship and support.”
The Battered Women’s Legal Advocacy Project (BWLAP) in Minnesota’s Court Tips for Representing Yourself in Family Court
This packet is from the Battered Women’s Legal Advocacy Project (BWLAP) in Minnesota, the forms may be specific for that state but the tips may be useful for any self-represented party.
“Many battered women look to the courts to resolve issues of child custody, child support,
maintenance, and property division. To obtain that help, a battered woman must formally
ask a judge to make an order. However, judges will only make an order when the request
complies with certain rules. Unfortunately, these rules can be confusing, preventing those
without professional legal help from getting their request heard.
This technical assistance packet describes how to file a written motion. It also provides
tips to prepare for the hearing. Attached is a blank copy of a Notice, Motion, Supporting
Affidavit, and Affidavit of Service that can be filled out and filed with the court. The text
of Rule 7.02, Minnesota Rules of Civil Procedure, as well as some of the most commonly
referenced Minnesota Rules of Evidence, are provided in text boxes within the packet….”
–What is a motion?
–What will happen at a hearing?
–Preparing for the hearing
– . Learn the difference between evidence and argument.
There are strict rules about when a person can present evidence and when a person can
present argument. If you try to present evidence or argument at the wrong time, the
judge will probably stop you before you have finished presenting your case. It is not
always easy to tell the difference between a fact, evidence, and argument. A simple rule,
o A fact is an event that has happened or is happening.
o Evidence is something that shows that the event happened.
o Argument is a statement to a judge to convince the judge that your
evidence proves your facts
–Make a list of all the arguments you want to make.
After you become familiar the law, you will be better prepared to make your arguments.
For example, if you are asking the judge to change the child support order, know what
standards the judge will use and organize your arguments within those standards. If you
are asking the judge to change the custody order, and the law provides that the judge is to
consider certain factors in determining the best interests of the child, then make
arguments based on those standards.
A common way of organizing arguments is:
1) State your request
2) State the law that pertains to your request
3) Summarize your evidence (your testimony, your witnesses’ testimony, and
4) Show step by step how the law applied to your evidence means that your
request should be granted
Another other tips..
For more information please visit the BWLAP website ( link below )
DISCLAIMER: This is advice from BWLAP in Minnesota. This is not advice from PMA International. This is for informational purposes only and should not replace the advice of a qualified legal professional.